


when the levee breaks

by Moonllotus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Character Death, Espionage, First War with Voldemort, Friendship/Love, Lie Low At Lupin's (Harry Potter), Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders' Era, Oral Sex, Regulus Black Lives, Reunions, Romance, Spy Sirius Black, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:39:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonllotus/pseuds/Moonllotus
Summary: Sirius was in the thick of it, wading through the paranoia and death, living every day one mission at a time. Too concerned with the current to worry about the future nightmares that were bound to haunt him once the war was over.His life was spiraling, and the only thing that kept him grounded was the thought of seeing Remus.





	when the levee breaks

**Author's Note:**

> No beta.

 

 

“You’re late.” The sound of Remus’ voice caused him to jump slighting as he apparated into the clearing they had agreed upon a few weeks prior.

He was late nearly forty-five minutes. Sirius tried to bury himself deeper into his dark pea coat, obviously out of place in the dying sunlight of the forest.

“Yes, well, errands to run.” Sirius shrugged.

By errands he meant escorting Regulus to Dumbledore for his younger brothers’ safety; it also meant apparating to multiple locations to hide where he was truly going. Regulus had stumbled across Voldemort’s Horcrux, and evidence that even if Voldemort’s body were destroyed that would not mean that he was dead. Not until they found out just how many Horcruxes he had created.

Sirius had to give the dark wizard credit, the man had a near perfect contingency plan in the event of his body’s demise. The issue was they had almost been caught, and Sirius was now certain that neither he nor his brother could show their faces to another Death Eater’s meeting.

He turned around to face Remus, mentally preparing himself for more scars and maybe even full chunks of the other man missing. They hadn’t seen each other since Harry’s first birthday. Order business coming before any sort of personal life.

The three full moons since they last have seen each other had left Sirius anguished and praying to the God’s that he didn’t believe in for the best. Remus stood straight at his full height of 6’2”, causing him to be larger than Sirius had ever seen him. His tawny curls were kept neat, but the thick beard on his face was new, as was the golden tan and dozens of freckles on the bridge of his nose. Roaming around the UK with random werewolf packs had done his body wonders. He was filled out in a way Sirius hadn’t realized he could be. Seeming healthier than he had ever seen Remus be in their entire friendship.

"Constant vigilance, Moony. How do you know I'm me?" Sirius asked.

"Because I can smell you," Remus responded shortly.

Sirius wondered how he smelled. Probably like a wet dog and cigarettes, "how do I know that you're really you?"

The deadpan expression he received for that question made him smile.

“Lumberjack chic looks good on you,” Sirius stated while eyeing the dark washed jeans and red flannel shirt, on top of it all was a thick beige cardigan, which was the only part of Moony that he recognized. He idly wondered if there were patches on the elbows. He hoped so.

Green eyes roamed his own form, and Sirius continued to act nonchalant as he reached into his coat for his pack of cigarettes. He was entirely too posh for this meeting. Black slacks, dress shoes, a dark grey pea coat over a white oxford. Black lamb gloves covered elegant hands, ink black hair neatly parted and combed out of his smooth face. Though unlike Remus, Sirius had gotten thinner. His cheekbones were more pronounced, jawline sharper, eyes the color of a thunderstorm. At 5’9” Sirius had never been the tallest man, but he appeared almost delicate now, bones obvious underneath tightly pulled skin.

“Come on then,” Remus gestured, not uttering another word while leading the way.

Sirius bit his tongue from saying anything else. They were in a forest in the middle of nowhere Scotland for Merlin’s sake. Yet he knew better than to assume that there were no eyes or ears watching their every move. The Dark Lord had spies in even the uncanny of places.

Instead, he watched the slope of Remus’ shoulders, wider than they had been a few months prior. He watched the way Remus seemed in his element here, moving gracefully over roots and slippery patches of dying grass. The woods were dull browns and whites, all of the trees bare and ready for winter, there was ice already on the dirt covered ground, and it felt as if it were going to snow. He wanted to reach out and take Remus’ hand within his own, but it had been nearly three months since they’ve ever laid eyes on each other. Sirius wasn’t sure where they stood, especially after the argument they had when they were together. Sirius hadn’t wanted Remus to approach the werewolves, not with how quickly they were being killed off by both Death Eaters and the Ministry. Remus hadn’t wanted Sirius to be a spy for the Order.

The thing was, Sirius was excellent at espionage. The Death Eaters welcomed him with open arms, despite thinking that he showed a little too much sympathy at times. He quietly assassinated higher ranking Death Eaters without the rest of the group realizing that it was him. They were wary of him but they did not think that Sirius was truly capable of any sort of killing curse, since he was obviously too soft. They were arrogant in the fact that they thought that they were using Sirius. It originally frightened him at how natural it felt to perform such dark magic, but now that he was immersed in it, well, Sirius liked to think that it was because he was a Black. He had an inkling that Voldemort knew it was him and was either biding his time with killing Sirius or just didn’t care.

Sirius and Regulus had teamed up early on, with his younger brother gathering information with Snape (of all the people) while Sirius got his hands dirty. He was in the thick of it, wading through the paranoia and death, living every day one mission at a time. Too concerned with the current to worry about the future nightmares that were bound to haunt him once the war was over. If he survived this, he half hoped that he wouldn't.

The cabin was soon within sight, it was a quaint brick building with small windows and puffs of smoke coming out of its stout chimney. The warmth hit him as soon as Remus opened the front door and ushered him inside. It was one large room that was minimally furnished with a double bed in the far corner with curtains hanging from the ceiling to offer some semblance of privacy. There were two doors to the left of the entryway, one led to a moderately sized bathroom while the other to a closet. The fireplace was also against the left-hand wall, with a plush sofa in front of it. Behind the sofa, to the right, was a small kitchen area and a square table that had three chairs. The place smelled of black tea, books, chocolate, and a hint of the wolf. It was so Remus that Sirius nearly staggered as he took his coat off and placed it on the hooks by the front door.

He peeled his gloves off and shoved them in the coat's pocket and removed his shoes afterward. He unbuttoned the top three buttons of his pressed shirt and ran his fingers through his hair, disheveling it from its neat comb-over as he made his way over to the fire for something to do.

“Nice place, how long have you been here?” He asked casually, trying to ignore the heat simmering in his belly as he realized Remus had been watching him the entire time. Even as he took off his boots, his eyes followed the path of Sirius’ hand through his hair, the quirk of Sirius’s jaw, the movement of his lips.

The cardigan and flannel shirt were gone, leaving only a plain black t-shirt that seemed to stretch enticingly over Remus’ chest.

“A few weeks,” Remus answered, his voice kept low. It was doubtful that he needed to speak much in the last several months. His silence was refreshing and unnerving.

Sirius couldn’t help but stare back at him. Drinking the sight of him in. He wondered what Remus has been doing. Or, more to the point, who Remus has been doing. Sirius had been too busy keeping himself and Regulus alive to try to pull. (If he were honest to himself he was too busy pining over Remus too.)

Remus padded over and sat on the couch, a few feet from where Sirius stood. “Your birthday’s coming up.”

“Twenty-two has never felt so old.” Sirius turned to face him, stretching his arms above his head just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating Remus’ attentive gaze. He wasn’t. “Tomorrow’s Halloween.”

“Going to spend it with James’ family?” Remus asked, leaning back further into the couch.

“I’m not their secret-keeper, so I don’t really know where they are. Besides its best, I stay away until this is all over. I’d cause them to be in too much danger,” Sirius shrugged.

He was admitting quite a bit by saying this. Common sense was that if neither he nor Remus was the secret- keeper it only meant one other person could be. He told Remus this because he could. Because he had been to every Death Eater meeting for the last several weeks, and the only werewolf he had ever spotted had been Fenrir Greyback. He knew that the work Remus did had been effective because Voldemort did not have as many Dark Creatures on his side as he had wished to.

“There had been a time when I was worried that Peter was a spy for Voldemort,” Remus admitted abashedly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “Him being a rat felt a bit like foreshadowing. I’m glad he’s not.”

“Nah, Wormtail’s just a coward. No clue how he ended up in Gryffindor, but he should be safe. The further he is from London, the better. Same for you.”

“Sirius—”

“I’m in too bloody deep, Moony. They chose Peter because of that, he’s somewhere in Greece now.” Sirius sighed, suddenly worn down to his bones. He briefly wondered if this was how Remus felt every day.

“Would you like some tea?” Remus asked as if suddenly remembering his manners. “Sorry, I’ve been isolated from polite society for too long.”

He stood up and made to go to the kitchen area but was prevented when Sirius grabbed his wrist.

“Remus.” Sirius only half expected Remus to grab him back. He did not expect Remus to apparate them the ten feet from the couch to the bed and shoving Sirius onto the mattress. “Christ!” Sirius exclaimed as Remus crawled on top of him. He automatically allowed his head to fall back, exposing his long neck for Remus.

“Fuck,” Remus huffed before inhaling deeply. Scenting Sirius, scraping his teeth along his Adam’s apple. His beard was rough against the soft skin. “Fuck Pads.”

Sirius held onto his shoulders. “Yes, please.”

“I’ve missed you,” Remus admitted into the skin beneath his lips. Sirius had to swallow the lump in his throat as he ran his fingers through the short hairs on the back of Remus’ neck.

“I’ve missed you too. And I’m sorry about the last time we spoke. I was wrong, what you’ve been doing has been amazing. You’ve done so much good with this effort, Moony. You—”

Remus cut him off with a kiss. A soft press of their mouths together, his beard scratching against Sirius’ smooth face. Sirius couldn’t bite down the helpless whimper as he opened his legs further, allowing Remus more space to get closer to him.

“What you’ve been doing is far more dangerous,” Remus muttered as he pulled away. Green eyes peered down into gray, “I’ve heard rumors. Death Eaters are being killed in their sleep—”

The bitter bark of laughter that left Sirius was accidental. “Oh Merlin, of course, they have been. Trust me, I know all about that.”

Remus was studying him again, “please tell me that Dumbledore doesn’t have you—”

“Well, who the fuck else would he have?” Sirius snapped. He could imagine how he looked with gray eyes too bright and a snarl of a smile on his face. His nose began to heat and his lips trembled, “I was late meeting you today because Rudolphus fucking Lestrange – did you know that I was in his and Bella’s wedding? He…he murdered my mother a fortnight ago and then— Fuck, fuck, I killed him before he could get to Reg. Because Reg is – and I’ve been slowly picking my way through Death Eaters. I know them all, I know how to get into their homes. I know them.”

He squeezed his eyes shut as a sob escaped him. Was only slightly mortified as hot tears slid down the sides of his face onto the bedspread.

Remus’ large hands scooped beneath his shoulder blades. Holding Sirius close to him and burrowing his face into Sirius’ hair.

“Why am I even crying over this?” Sirius hiccuped as he tried to silence himself, “they’re Death Eaters. I’ve seen them kill muggle born and torture half-bloods. I’ve seen them kill each other.”

“Because they’re your family, despite it all,” Remus whispered.

“Fuck, we haven’t seen each other in months and I ruin it.” Sirius sniffled, “forgive me.”

The kisses being pressed to the crown of his head made him want to melt a little further into Remus. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I’m just relieved that you’re here. I was so worried Pads.”

They held onto each other tightly, breathing each other in and occasionally trembling. After several minutes Remus extracted himself from Sirius, rolling over so that he was seated beside him.

“Tea?”

“Please.”

Remus ducked down for another sweet kiss on the mouth before getting off of the bed and going to the kitchen. Sirius sat up and maneuvered himself so that he was sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“You mentioned Regulus,” Remus prodded gently as he used magic to heat the kettle. “He’s well?”

“Yeah, he,” Sirius ran his fingers through his hair again. A nervous tick he had picked up from James. “He and I are fucked. He found something that will help kill Voldemort for good, so I took him to Hogwarts before coming here. Albus wants me to lie low for the next few days if that’s alright with you?”

“Of course it’s alright with me.” Remus nodded.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to interfere with your mission.” Sirius picked at his cuticles, worrying his lower lip. Suddenly insecure, because there had been so much time between them, and he wasn’t sure if Remus maybe had found someone else during that time. It shouldn’t matter, it shouldn’t bother him, but it did. “I didn’t want to assume.”

“Don’t be daft.” The reprimand was sharp, “why would you think it wasn’t okay? Did you honestly think I’d say no?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius sighed. “I’m not sure if—” he cut himself off. Now was not the time to talk about what they had together. If there was something other than sex and friendship. Were they a couple? It sure had felt like it once, but after their row in July, things were even less clear than before.

“You weren’t sure of what?” Remus questioned as he placed two mismatched mugs of tea onto the small dining table. His green eyes appeared closer to amber in the dim firelight and left Sirius squirming.

This was stupid, Sirius was going to be twenty-two in a matter of days! He wasn’t a child! He shouldn’t be feeling this immature or awkward around Remus…only he did. This wasn’t just about Remus, it was about Sirius’ life. The war, James, Regulus, his mother, the fact that Sirius was killing people on the regular without giving himself the chance to allow room for remorse. Remus standing there with a biscuit in hand, giving him an appraising glance over.

One thing at a time. Sirius thought to himself. One moment at a time. Most days he felt as if he were spiraling out of control.

“This is going to sound idiotic,” Sirius began as he stood up and made his way over to the table for his beverage and snack.

“When has that stopped you in the past?” Remus teased. There were crumbs in his ridiculously perfect beard.

Sirius stared down at the dark tea that swished around in his mug. “I just didn’t want to intrude. In case you’ve made a werewolf friend.”

He could feel Remus’ heavy gaze on him. “Really Sirius? A werewolf friend? I haven’t slept with anyone else if that’s what you want to know. Not when I thought that we—” He cut himself off and scoffed, “werewolf friend.”

The relief was palatable for Sirius. “I haven’t slept with anyone either because I thought we were together. As a couple. You know, as in lovers. Like Lily and James only we’re both blokes. Similar to—”

“Shut up, Sirius.” Remus laughed, the tension that had set around his eyes and mouth softening, and Sirius couldn’t help but beam at him.

“Right,” Sirius finished his tea, “now that we've got that situated, may I use your shower?”

“Of course, there are towels in the closet.” Remus took both mugs and placed them in the sink.

“May I also borrow some clothes?”

Remus turned from the sink to arch a brow at Sirius. “You were in that much of a hurry that you didn’t think to pack a bag?”

Sirius shrugged, “literally came with the clothes on my back. Honestly, there was no time to stop back home. No doubt it’s swarming with Death Eaters now. I didn’t feel the need to risk it.” Because it would’ve been a big risk. He knew Bellatrix would be out for him, and she would make sure his death was as painful as possible.

Sirius didn’t think he was going to survive this war, but he at least was getting to fulfill his wish of seeing Remus one last time before he died.

Sirius woke with a start, the fire was burning low and Remus was beside him as warm as any furnace. Panic held him in its tight clutches and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. For a brief, hysterical, moment he wondered if this was how he was going to perish. An asthma attack induced by anxiety. There could be worse way’s to go.

His gray eyes were nearly black as they drank the sight of Remus in, he was shirtless and breathing deeply. His torso covered equally in scars and freckles. In the dim light, Sirius could make out every constellation that his freckles created, and how the curly mess that was his tawny hair looked plastered against his forehead. His ridiculous beard still appeared perfect.

Yes, there are worse ways to die than beside Remus. Slowly his chest loosened and he felt his body go lax.

The surroundings of the cabin, the eerie silence of the woods, is what had awoken him. Back in London, there was always constant sound, whether it be traffic or pedestrians. Or his mother’s portrait spewing hate speeches.

Sound had been a constant to Sirius. He sat up and rubbed at his face. What time was it? The sky was as black as ink with the stars twinkling down kindly. They had fallen asleep early, it hadn’t even been eight. It probably wasn’t near midnight.

“Go back to sleep Pads.” Remus murmured, but he had yet to open his eyes.

Sirius shook his head, worry gnawing in his lower belly. He couldn't shake off that something was happening. Something wasn't right. Worse off than usual. His gut was what had kept him alive during this war, but whatever it was that picked at his soul was far away.

With a huff Remus sat up as well, causing the duvet to pool around both of their laps. His green eyes reflected the dim light of the fire as he peered over at Sirius.

Sirius stared down at his own hands, picking at the loose threads of the blanket. Sighing, Remus leaned forward and mouthed at Sirius’ neck.

“Moony,” Sirius breathed, almost pushing Remus away from him. Remus’ beard scratched against his skin in an enticing way which left Sirius shivering. Or maybe that was the cool outside air that had been making its way through the cracks of the old cabin.

Remus hummed, sucking the skin below Sirius’ ear until Sirius knew there would be a mouth shaped mark left behind.

“I don’t think I can,” Sirius whispered into the room. His breathing was almost a pant as Remus sucked another part of his throat.

“Then don’t think,” Remus mumbled while scenting him.

Remus shifted so that he was straddling Sirius, the duvet slid off the bed and onto the floor with barely a sound.

They were both in just their pants and the air around them was cool, even with the low burning fire, but Remus on top of him was hot.

Sirius wet his lips, eyes tracing every new blemish on Remus’ body. It had only been since early July since they’ve done this, it wasn’t that long. But it was, so much had happened since then and now, stories that were better left untold, words hung heavy between them as Remus shift his hips and ground downwards.

Sirius tumbled backward onto the bed. Unaware of his hands being dragged above his head until his pale birdlike wrists were held firmly by broad, calloused hands. Their chests were flushed as Remus ground down again. Both panting and staring each other in the eye. By the third roll of Remus’ hips, Sirius began to participate.

They were both achingly hard, stiffness rubbing against each other deliciously in a soft sort of friction that reminded Sirius of their school days. Thoughts of Bella, Regulus, James, Lily, Harry, Peter, Voldemort, and the rest of the damn war faded away. All that was left in its wake was Remus.

Gradually Remus released Sirius’ wrists and entwined their fingers together tightly, still rutting and pressing kisses and mouth shaped bruises along Sirius’ neck and naked torso.

Sirius’ skinny chest breathed desperately as he squeezed Remus’ fingers. When their lips finally met it was nirvana. Sweet, languid, tongues greeting each other in the only way they knew how. Slowly, Remus released Sirius’ hands, using his fingers to trace patterns on Sirius’ chest, over his nipples, down towards his navel.

“We can stop,” Remus’ voice is low, a drag against his vocal cords, “if you want.”

Sirius shook his head, “no. Don’t stop.”

Remus sat back, shifting and pulling down his underwear. He enjoyed the way Sirius’ eyes traced him in the dim light. The contours of his body were sharper and softer like this, erection heavy and proud where it hung thickly between his legs.

Sirius gulped before shimmying out of his own pants, getting them caught mid-thigh and whining helplessly.

Remus chuckled darkly, bending forward to help him. "So impatient."

His voice reminded Sirius of days spent in secret alcoves, hidden behind statues and tapestries. Of dark chocolate, dusty tomes and sneaking past Mrs. Norris. Of full moons.

He took in a shaky breath that made way to a shattered moan as Remus' tongue flicked the head of his cock.

"Mmm," Remus savored the flavor of precum before taking the entirety of Sirius' cock into his mouth until his nose brushed against the coarse curls at the base.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius shook. He got onto his elbows to peer down at Remus. Watching his cock be swallowed into his silken mouth. Worrying his bottom lip and maintaining eye contact until Remus took a knuckle and pressed it against Sirius perineum before massaging that sensitive part of the skin. Sirius' knees twitched and his arms gave out.

"Remus." He hissed.

Remus hummed and bobbed. One hand gently fondling Sirius' balls and the other massaging his perineum, fingers brushing teasingly against his entrance where he knew Remus wanted to truly be.

"Oh my God," Sirius gasped and twisted and panted until he was at the edge of a knife.

His mouth opened and he scented the air, smelling the musk of his cum as it splashed down Remus' throat. The heaviness of Remus' arousal pressing against him, heavy like a force of magic he had never felt before.

Remus let Sirius go once he was sure Sirius was done and boneless. They had learned early on that it was easier to fuck after an orgasm when the body was too relaxed to go tense. Remus grabbed his wand and muttered a cleansing spell which left Sirius feeling strangely empty. Another charm followed which had his hole drenching wet and dripping onto the flat sheet.

He wasn't much help as Remus took his legs. A hand resting on Sirius' thigh. Petting the smooth skin. Sirius was like fresh snow, pale and unblemished and just so beautiful that it hurt to look at him directly. But Remus always looked.

Sirius' knees were over Remus' shoulders, thighs pressed tightly against his torso and arms. Remus pushed forward until Sirius was nearly folded in half, hips burning in protest but Sirius did not utter a word of discomfort as Remus kissed him deeply as he entered him.

The angle was a little overwhelming.

Sirius was overly stimulated like this, his flaccid cock twitching with every thrust. He gripped at Remus' wrists, hands finding each other again.

They moved in tandem. Sirius whining keenly while Remus snarled. Scenting each other, panting in each other's mouths. Sirius threw his head back, leaving the column of his neck exposed for the sole purpose of being marked.

The second orgasm took Sirius by surprise.

His vision blacked out and his body convulsed, mouth open in a howl as his hips moved spastically over Remus' thick cock as his body forced spurts out of him and onto his own chest. Remus pinned him down by the throat and began to fuck with a vigor that left Sirius wailing. He could feel the loud growl vibrating through Remus as their hips slapped loudly, almost deafeningly. So hard that there was sure to be bruising come morning.

"Give it to me Re," Sirius begged, "Please give it to me. Give it to me."

Remus leaned forward and bit him where the meat of his shoulder met his neck. Hard enough that he nearly broke the skin and left Sirius crying out.

"I fucking love you," Remus gritted out from between clenched teeth as his hips finally - almost an eternity later - slowed down.

Remus pulled out and groaned as he popped his back and allowed Sirius to lower his legs. His larger hands massaged at Sirius' aching hip bones almost knowingly.

Sirius, half delirious from endorphins and sleep deprivation grinned unabashedly."That's assuring. I love you too."

Their lips met in another kiss. Remus digging his hands into Sirius' hair and holding him firmly. It would have gone further had the silvery patronus of a familiar large dog not bound in through the window.

"Shit," Sirius froze. Remus' body became rigid beside him.

"Pettigrew and the Potters are dead," Regulus' voice echoed throughout the cabin. "Come to Hogwarts at once."

For the second time that night, Sirius felt as if he were going to suffocate to death.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my fics and want more feel free to follow me on **[tumblr](https://moonllotus.tumblr.com/)**!


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